Dog Play! The Good, the Bad & the Ugly!

Is My Dog Playing Nicely? How to Tell Good Play from Bad Play

It’s not always easy to know whether the play your dog is involved in is good play or not-so-good play. Understanding what to look for puts you in a much better position when your dog is interacting with other dogs—and helps you advocate for them confidently.

How often have you heard phrases like “Oh don’t worry, he’s only playing” or “Don’t worry, he’s friendly”? You might even find yourself saying it to another dog owner. These are a few of my least favourite phrases (I have more… but that’s for another blog post!).

Those statements may be true—maybe their dog really is friendly and maybe they really are playing—but that doesn’t mean the interaction is welcomed or reciprocated by your dog.

I want you to know this: it is totally okay if you don’t want your dog to play.Your dog does not have to play with every dog they meet.

If your gut is saying no, trust it. Make an excuse, politely ask the other owner to call their dog, and carry on with your walk. You are not being rude—you are being responsible.

Personally, I don’t often let Luna play with unfamiliar dogs. And if I do, I’m watching closely to make sure the play is fun and appropriate for both dogs—not just her.

What Does Good Play Look Like? (Green Flags 🟢)

Mirroring & MatchingImagine placing a mirror between the dogs—they copy each other. They might bow at the same time, stop to sniff together, or roll onto their backs simultaneously. Chasing is shared, not one-sided.

Self-HandicappingOne dog adjusts their play style for the other. An older dog may move more gently with a puppy, or a stronger dog may allow the other to “win” a tug game.

PausesThis is one of my favourite things to watch for. Dogs naturally pause during play—taking a breath, shaking off, or briefly disengaging—before choosing to re-engage. This shows good communication and emotional regulation.

SharingDogs may comfortably share space, toys, puddles, or even piles of mud. Tug games without body slamming are a good example.

VocalisationMany dogs are noisy when they play. Growling or barking isn’t automatically a problem if it’s paired with loose, bouncy, playful body language.

Soft Body LanguageI always encourage owners to study their dog’s body language so they can spot subtle changes. Learn what your dog looks like when they’re relaxed and happy. During play, look from nose to toes: soft, wiggly bodies, relaxed ears, soft eyes, and a loose mouth.

“But Their Tail Is Wagging…”A wagging tail doesn’t always mean a dog is happy. Dogs wag when they’re excited, anxious, fearful, or unsure. Look at the position of the tail and the speed of the wag, and always assess the whole body—not just one part.

Dogs happily sharing a toy during play

What Isn’t Good Play? (Red Flags 🔴)

Uninvited Body ContactOne dog repeatedly getting in another dog’s face or staying glued to their rear. This can include placing paws, head, or throat over the other dog. If it’s not welcomed, conflict can follow.

Whale Eye on GreetingWhale eye is when you can see the whites of a dog’s eyes. During greetings or play, this may look like a brief freeze paired with side-eye. It often signals discomfort or uncertainty.

T-ShapingThis is when one dog places their chin or throat over another dog’s neck, head, or shoulders. It’s rude, especially between unfamiliar dogs, and can escalate quickly. It can also be linked to scent marking.

Space InvadingBlocking access to owners, crowding, or tangled leads during on-lead greetings can quickly increase tension. I recommend avoiding on-lead greetings altogether, or keeping them to three seconds and move on.

One-Sided PlayOne dog does all the chasing, mouthing, or pinning while the other doesn’t reciprocate or tries to disengage.

HarassmentOne dog simply won’t leave the other alone. It may look like play, but the dog being harassed will clearly be signalling that they want the interaction to stop.

MountingMounting during play is a red flag and I recommend ending the interaction. It can happen for many reasons, but it’s inappropriate and often escalates tension.

When Should I Step In?

If two dogs know each other well, they may have a rougher or more boisterous play style. You might see the occasional red flag—but if body language remains soft and there are plenty of green flags, play doesn’t always need to stop immediately.

However:

• If red flags start stacking up

• If one dog looks uncomfortable

• Or if your gut says “this doesn’t feel right”
  

Calmly call your dog away and keep walking on.

Trust your instincts. You know your dog best.

Keep on Top of Your Recall

Practising recall away from other dogs is so important. If your dog has a favourite playmate, practise calling them away mid-play, reward them heavily for choosing you, then send them back to play. This teaches them that coming back doesn’t mean the fun ends.

Don’t forget to bring high-value treats on walks—and your dog’s favourite tug toy.

My favourite place to shop for tug toys is

Tug-e-nuff dog toys